I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
