your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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