That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
