chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
well most of my day revolves around power hour
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
