found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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