Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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