It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Two words: blizzard sex
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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