In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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