Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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