Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
