Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
