I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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