loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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