Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
