my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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