i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
