A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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