He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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