Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
