my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
