haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
