And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
