it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
