How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
