i don't like sucking hair
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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