I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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