my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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