it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
