You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
