Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
