people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I will be naked everywhere
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
