i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
