woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
