You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
