Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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