then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
