babies were throwing up all over the place
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
