every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
