PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
