farters have to be the big spoon...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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