so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I lost the right to judge tonight
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
