The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
