Me too!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
