Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
