I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
