I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
