she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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