This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
