What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At least life still wants to fuck me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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