drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
